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Emotional Rollercoasters

Building or remodelling a home certainly causes a huge amount of various emotions in us.

From dreaming up a plan to making it happen - every minute for me so far has been a full on emotional roller coaster experience, mostly happy and in great anticipation. But I would lie if I'd say there are no second thoughts and worries involved either.

The planning stage - for me nothing is more exciting, invigorating and sparks my creativity more than this process. It makes me so happy and I have thoroughly enjoyed speaking to contractors, scouting out sources of materials, challenging certain trends that no one ever follows here in Germany, specifically in Hesse (thats for another story). I have spent countless hours in this process, day and even nights…and am not finished yet. Hey, this is just the beginning of it all.

The nights I am planning, I am obviously not sleeping - and that is draining. My brain often turns into a Pinterest account at night. I have had this with every remodel I have done so far… no matter if its a personal project or one for a client.

I go through all the rooms, dream up how things can be done and what they will look like. Its a crazy slideshow in my mind during those sleepless nights. This can also be exhausting.

Just like the worries of financial burden can be scary and exhausting.

From excitement at day and night let's move to fear, angst of not doing the right thing, fear of the what ifs…They can be very unsettling and I would lie if I haven’t thought about the 'what ifs'.

My what if's are often: can we get this value in another place that is better investment wise, location wise? What is the value of this home remodel here in this place and now, does the cost make sense, whats our return on investment? What about our kids being in another city, how will life be without them daily in my life?

Change is coming and we need to embrace it. Even though these emotions are often unsettling, change is good.

Another unsettling one to me is loosing control of the ever so high estimates and budget. Of course it does not help that we plan to remodel an old house during a pandemic when material prices start soaring and go up 6-8% on average. On top, we want only the best, newest and nicest... thats costly.

Our last home in the states...another remodel I loved.

Somehow, these emotions have always been part of my decision making. I think all of you can emphasise. At the end of the day, I feel its worth going through all of them and I came up with the result I always come up with: YOU SHALL GET THERE WHEN YOU GET THERE. Its not the destination, its the journey... So yes, some worries are part of it, but also, let's enjoy the ride. Let's enjoy that we have this possibility to do it, the financial means (even though more than planned), our creativity and guts to make this vision come to life.

I am grateful for the experience and the chapter ahead of us. I am grateful that my kids will be able to go into their lives as young adults and see how it feels to be on their own and take life in their own hands (yes, I will miss them soooo much).

So in a nutshell: Yes, planning a remodel is exhausting, calculations are usually off - by a lot! If it was worth it in the end, we shall see. I just always have to remind myself, we will be fine. Change is good, change helps you grow even more and after the change, there will be more change. Life is about growth and change… and choices.

I know this will not be our forever home. More like a home base close to our first home, close to family that needs us, that we need. It's a home that hugs us, shelters us and our kids if needed, and is also a jump board for what’s to come in the future. Is it worth the investment then? I think so!

No matter how much the investment, at the end of the day, we invest in our daily life, the quality of life that we will have in our home, we invest in the experience and the range of it. Financially speaking, I am not saying invest a huge amount if you don’t have it. But what I am saying is, that Reiner and I strive to fulfil our dreams of a comfortable dream home where we can host our children, hey its going to be big enough for them to even move in if they have to - I would love it! We want to have a place for friends and family alike to come and feel welcome and at home. We want to celebrate what’s to celebrate in this life (lets forget about the Pandemic for a bit) and make memories. We want to live and work in our home and dream up our next plans.

Ultimately, all of the investment, the emotions, the good and the bad that comes with the process will be worth it. And if we love it, we stay, if we love it but new opportunities come up, we go! And in the meantime, we live a beautiful life in our dream home.


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